The Hidden Cost of the Busy Mask: When Productivity Becomes Your Identity

By Ann Barbour

Have you ever stopped to ask yourself—who are you when you’re not being productive?

In our culture, busyness isn’t just a pace—it’s a badge. A performance. A mask. And for many of us, that mask gets reinforced early. You do well in school, take on more than your share, help out, show up, say yes. Somewhere along the way, being busy stops being a choice and starts being who you are.

This is exactly what came up in my recent conversation with Scott Schimmel, founder of the YouSchool, on the Unmasking podcast. We were exploring the Busy Mask—how easy it is to conflate productivity with self-worth, and how difficult it can be to take that mask off, even when it’s no longer serving us.

Scott shared how he picked up his “mask” as early as age 13, stepping into a persona of being responsible and high-performing because it earned him praise. “It felt good when people said I worked hard,” he said. “So I kept working harder.”

But the real cost? A loss of presence, peace, and agency.

When Your Identity Is Built on Busyness

At Aiki Partners, we often talk about guiding from the inside out. But how can you lead with clarity if your identity is built around performing for the outside world?

The Busy Mask convinces us that:

• Stillness equals laziness.
• Slowing down means falling behind.
• Rest is something we have to earn.

But these are borrowed beliefs. They’re not you—they’re a set of inherited expectations that often go unexamined. And over time, they shape not only how we show up professionally, but how we relate to our families, our bodies, and even our own inner voice.

Scott described moments of burnout, short-temperedness with his family, and even health issues before realizing the mask was too tight. “It was like a slow Velcro tear,” he said. “Undoing the Busy Mask wasn’t about stopping everything. It was about choosing what actually aligns.”

Busy vs. Aligned

There’s a powerful distinction to make: Are you busy because you’re afraid of being seen as lazy—or because you’re genuinely energized by what you’re doing?

We don’t need to demonize productivity. This isn’t about doing less. It’s about doing what’s true.

When Scott began reframing his schedule around what gave him life—like coaching youth sports or taking intentional morning time for focused work—he noticed a shift. Not just in output, but in his nervous system. His being matched his doing.

That’s the essence of inside-out leadership.

Questions to Ask Yourself

If this resonates, take a moment to reflect. Ask yourself:

• What story did I inherit about busyness and success?
• When was the last time I felt still—and safe—in that stillness?
• Am I using productivity to avoid something deeper?
• Where does my energy feel aligned, and where does it feel performative?

Awareness is the first step. And it’s where real transformation begins.

At Aiki Partners, we help high-performing leaders untangle from the roles and personas they’ve outgrown. The Busy Mask is just one of many—and beneath it is someone far more powerful: you, unmasked.

Ready to go deeper? Catch the full episode of Unmasking with Ann Barbour featuring Scott Schimmel and begin your journey from performance to presence.