Extending Ki: The Energetics of Presence and Influence

There’s a quiet power that’s rarely spoken about in leadership circles.

It’s not the kind you can measure with metrics or capture in a quarterly report. It’s deeper—subtle, energetic, and profoundly human. And once you’ve experienced it, you can’t lead the same way again.

In Aikido, my mentor Tom Crum called it "extending ki.”

Ki is life force. It’s the energy that animates us—the current of intention, presence, and power that flows through everything we do. And the way we extend it determines whether people lean in or pull back, whether teams move in cohesion or fracture under pressure.

I didn’t have language for it when I was operating in the SEAL Teams, but I lived it every night we lifted off into the dark. The rotors of the Chinook would spin up, that familiar crackle of electricity charging the air, and across the dim green hue of our night vision, I’d catch the eyes of my teammates. One slight nod. No words.

“My life in yours. Yours in mine.”

That wasn’t strategy. That was energy. That was extending ki.

Presence Is the Portal

Most of us spend our lives fractured—one part of us rehashing the past, another part anticipating a future that hasn’t happened, and only a sliver of our awareness rooted in the moment in front of us.

The cost? We show up scattered, reactive, distracted—and we ask others to trust us in that state.

Presence is the gateway. Without it, you can’t extend anything. When I walk into a room off-balance, chasing my thoughts, rushing from one obligation to the next, people feel it—whether they can articulate it or not. Coherence doesn’t require charisma. It requires congruence. Stillness.

When we’re centered, people feel safe.

When we extend ki from that place, they feel seen.

So How Do You Extend Ki?

It’s not mystical. It’s deeply embodied—and trainable.

Here are a few ways to begin:

1. Come From Center. Always.

I learned a best practice from Ali Crum that I now apply as universally as possible - before I step into any room—whether it’s a boardroom, a kitchen, or a battlefield—I pause. Sometimes it’s ten seconds. Sometimes it’s a full breath in the hallway. But I ask one question:

“Who do I want to be as I enter this room?”

That single question interrupts the momentum of habit and anchors me to intention. Whether I choose to show up as a father, mentor, student, or guide—it changes how I move. How I listen. How I carry the room.

Practical Takeaway:

Create a centering ritual. One breath. One phrase. One question. Use it before key meetings, conversations, or transitions.

2. Extend Ki Through Attention

True presence is one of the rarest currencies in the world today. We’re surrounded by noise, but starving for someone who sees us—without judgment, agenda, or distraction.

When you look someone in the eye, not to fix them or impress them, but simply to be with them—you’re extending ki. You’re saying, “You matter. I see you.”

It’s not about words. It’s about energy. People remember how you made them feel far more than what you said.

Practical Takeaway:

Practice “eye-to-eye, heart-to-heart” listening. Put down your phone. Soften your gaze. Let silence stretch. Trust that presence is doing the heavy lifting.

3. Feel the Field. And Feed It.

When you’re fully present, you begin to feel the emotional field of a room. Tension has texture. Trust has resonance. Disconnection leaves a void. Extending ki means becoming aware of what’s happening beneath the surface and choosing to feed the field with intention.

If the energy is scattered, bring calm.
If it’s heavy, bring lightness.
If it’s urgent, bring breath.

That’s leadership. Not control—contribution.

Practical Takeaway:

Walk into your next meeting and feel the room before speaking. Ask yourself, “What does this space need?” Then offer it—not from ego, but from alignment.

Final Reflection

Extending ki isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being present.
It’s not about force. It’s about flow.
It’s not about being the loudest. It’s about being the most aligned.

You don’t need a title to lead this way. You need willingness. Awareness. And the courage to drop into your center—again and again.

Because the moment you get centered, you give others permission to do the same.
And in that space, anything is possible.